You need to step way back. It sounds like you are not in a place mentally to train. You need to not even attempt something you are not committed/not capable of completing. Go out, brush her, walk her and just get to know her. Try to find another trainer to help you out asap, that can walk you through what you need to do on the ground first. If you can't work with her on the ground successfully then you really shouldn't be riding.


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You need to calm down. These problems seem like they come from you more than the horse. Step back, take some time out and maybe start focussing on ways to manage your stress.

A bond doesn't appear overnight. It can take a good year for you and a horse to get really in sync. Some horses will never be in your pocket types, others will come around.

However your post started straight out sound like you don't really want your horse. If that's how you come at, you might never be happy. I guess I'd ask yourself if you really do want this horse?

 

^^Those ladies are right in that a bond does not happen overnight, especially when you are so fresh off a decision to retire your other horse. My heart horse was unofficially retired for several years before I bought another, so the shock of a new personality was not as great as yours.

It is natural to miss the bond you had with your other horse. Just remind yourself you are not looking for an exact replacement, and that even a very different bond can still be a great one.

My new guy is a green-as-grass 4 year old and I had had 15 years of relationship with my mare before I put her down last week. I have to remind myself over and over and over again that Tuesday (in my avatar) did not come to me as an angel, nor did she become one overnight. Or even in a year. Or two! But by working through our issues and learning about each other and my own personal growth as a horsewoman we developed a relationship.

You will too, with your horse. Take the pressure off yourself, make a list of goals to meet (like 'stands quietly while mounting and until I ask her to move off') and work on them one at a time. Relax, go at her pace, there is nothing so important that you have to rush. You will only handicap yourself.

That said, with enough time you will know whether the horse is a good fit, and f it turns out she is not there is no shame in selling her and finding the right one.

Horses should be fun, and life is short. Embrace it!

 

You need help in being an effective horse person and a good leader for this horse, one she can respect.
Trying to bond with her, getting her to respond, using treats will only get you a horse that does not respect you
Horses can become un trained as well as trained, and I do think you were used to a'push button type of horse, and need some help in teaching you how to get respect from this horse
Not standing for mounting, you giving up, is simply not acceptable,a nd only teaches the horse she can act that way. Get help or sell the horse, is the best advise I can give, because you are definitely in over your head

 

You need to treat her like a horse and not your pet dog. This bonding thing? Highly over rated. This is a horse. You have a job to do with this horse. Get on her and ride her. I too would be frustrated if I could not get on a horse for 30 minutes and kept trying.

Can you get a mounting block? Start there. Get a bit tough minded. The first job is for the horse to learn to stand next to the mounting block and stand still.

If she moves her feet, then make her REALLY move her feet. Force her to back up.. work her HARD.. until she has given you 100% attention AND respect. She is not a pet dog.. she is a horse and she needs to respect you. Get her to figure out that NOT moving her feet unless asked is a reward.

You have put yourself under enormous pressure. I don't know why you HAD to quit your job (??!!!?) but the horse thing should be your chill pill, not your stress box. The more stressed you are the worse it will get.

I think if you dump the treats, pick up a dressage whip, make a plan (to just get the horse to stand still for mounting) and then only work on that plan (getting the horse to stand still period) you will be better off.

Horses are not pets. Your old horse may have been your pet.. but for the most part the pet thing and bonding thing doesn't work with horses. Treat your new horse more like livestock and make clear boundaries for that horse and you will be much safer, much more satisfied with your horse's behavior and much happier riding.

 

Basically what others said but want to add sh make have ulcers and that is why she is biting while tacking up.

 

All her problems are fixable - other than maybe the 'doesn't like jumping' thing - you can't force a horse to jump if it doesn't have the aptitude for it - they might give you a half hearted attempt if you're a hard enough rider but a good jumper has to want to enjoy the job. If its just a question of her being unsure of the jumps because its all new then that's also fixable
Big question is - do you want to fix it?
Not all horses take advantage and need firmer/more experienced handling so this horse might just not be the one for you in which case sell her and find one that is
Bonding is over rated - it can take any amount of time for a horse to 'get used to you' but you might still not like that horse even when it does
I've had some horses that I've really loved and more that I've just had to do my best with - the one you keep if you're just a one horse 'hobby' owner should be the one you love

 

A bond with a horse is a process. For now, forget about it and get down to business. “Bonding” with her will not fix the issues you are having.

If it helps to keep your thoughts organized and calms you down, make a check list of ground manners, things that every horse should be expected to do like stand with head lowered for haltering, not run off when being caught, follow on lead, forward, backward, halt, lift a hoof and stand patiently, stand when tied, accept being groomed and touched everywhere, stand for mounting and tacking….at first glance none of those things seem like they have anything to do with getting to the fun part of riding, but they really are all connected. These are really specific things that you can get how-to advice from your trainer on over the phone or even find free videos on line. If she does some of these things really well, make them better. This process is as much for you as it is her. Stay focused, calm, breathe and revel in the little successes!

Work on each thing on your list every day until even a small improvement is made at which point, move onto the next thing.

Don’t expect perfection on the first go, accept progress in the right direction and move on. Slow down and take a deep breath, the old saying is “horses don’t wear a watch”. It may take her thirty seconds to do exactly as you asked, 30 minutes or 30 days (though probably not). Don’t think about riding while you are working on this. If you can work with her in two separate sessions each day, it will probably go a little faster.

Be consistent and when she makes a move in the right direction give her some extra positive reinforcement like a “good girl!” or a scratch in a scratchy spot. That way there is no doubt in her mind that she made the right move AND she sees that there is something in it for her as motivation to “do good” by you. Correct her when she gets out of line, but don’t forget to highlight the good too.

Hope this helps both of you.